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Coming out to your parents is a nerve-wracking experience for any child, regardless of age. Hence it can also be an equally tricky experience for you as a parent. For this reason, it’s essential to be prepared if you suspect your child is struggling to come out of the closet in front of you. Here are some tips to help create an inclusive environment at home to make it easier for your kid to open up about their identity.

How To Make It Easier For Your Child To Come Out To You

Knowing how to react when your child comes out is essential Learn how to make it easier for your child to come out to you with these seven key tips

Build a chosen family

A chosen family is a group of individuals who purposefully choose to play an essential role in each other’s lives and lend emotional support. Many parents of LGBTQIA+ children struggle to accept and support their child’s identity, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Building a chosen family with them is a great way to make your child feel accepted and loved. This family dynamic can help make them feel seen and celebrated for who they are and provide a robust support system for them in times of need. 

Many LGBTQIA+ family planning resources are available to help you create a chosen family for your child. You can also join support groups to connect with other parents in the same situation. You can also look into organizations that offer counseling or education on LGBTQIA+ issues and inclusivity.

Doing these things will help you create a loving and supportive network for your child, which can be invaluable in their growth and development.

Let them know you’re supportive.

One of the most important things you can do to make it easier for your child to come out to you is to let them know you’re supportive. Children coming out as LGBTQIA+ often feel vulnerable, so showing them that you accept them and love them unconditionally can go a long way toward making the process easier.

Show your child through words and actions that you will always be there for them no matter what. Be open-minded when your child is discussing their feelings with you or when the family’s talking about related discourse. Validate their feelings – they may have been struggling with this issue for a while and need to know their feelings are genuine. Let them know it’s OK to talk about their sexuality in a safe space.

Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions encourage dialogue and allow your child to express their feelings without feeling judged. Avoid leading questions like “Do you like boys or girls?” to sound too intrusive or aggressive. Instead, ask questions that show you’re open to hearing their story, for example, “How have you been feeling lately?” or “What do you want me to know about you?”

Likewise, listen with an open heart and don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. It may also be helpful to use inclusive and free language from gender bias. For example, rather than asking, “Do you have a boyfriend?” try asking, “Do you have someone special in your life?”

Asking open-ended questions shows that you can listen and accept them for who they are. This will help your child feel more comfortable coming out to you and make it easier for them to share their truth.

Knowing how to react when your child comes out is essential Learn how to make it easier for your child to come out to you with these seven key tips

Avoid assumptions

It is essential to avoid making assumptions about your child’s identity. Even if you think you know what gender or sexuality your child uses to identify themself, don’t assume it is the same as yours or that they have come to the same conclusion. Everyone has a unique journey, and while it may be helpful to offer support, it is essential to let your child determine their own identity and decisions.

It is also important not to make assumptions about how your child will handle their coming-out process. Each person has a unique set of circumstances that will affect how they come out of the closet. Your child may be ready to come out to everyone at once or choose to do it gradually, starting with their chosen family members. Respect your child’s decision and let them take the lead.

Respect their privacy

When your child comes out to you, it’s essential to respect their privacy. Don’t share their personal information without their consent, especially with family members or friends who may not be supportive. Your child should control how and when they come out to other people. This can help them feel safe and secure in sharing their identity. 

Be sure to reassure your child that you won’t out them to anyone else and will honor their wishes regarding who knows about their identity. 

It can also be helpful to check in with your child periodically to ensure they are comfortable with how much information you share about them. 

Seek outside support

Sometimes it can be hard to process the news your child identifies as LGBTQA+. Reaching out for support from outside the family can help you understand your child’s experience better and help you come to terms with it.

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Seek advice from supportive family members or friends who can give you an objective opinion on the situation. Alternatively, professional counselors and therapists specializing in LGBTQ+ issues can offer guidance. Organizations like PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) have support groups and resources for parents, families, and friends of LGBTQ+ youth. They provide a safe place to ask questions, get information and talk to other parents who are going through similar experiences.

Knowing how to react when your child comes out is essential Learn how to make it easier for your child to come out to you with these seven key tips

Don’t react negatively.

One of the most important things to remember when your child comes out to you is not to react negatively. The situation can be challenging, and it’s essential to remain open-minded, if not supportive, to create an environment where your child feels safe and secure.

It’s natural to feel shocked, sad, or even angry. However, it’s essential to be mindful that reacting in these ways can damage your relationship with your kid. Instead of reacting emotionally, focus on how your child feels and how you can best support them.

Take a moment to think about your response before you say anything. Consider the consequences of your words and take time to process your emotions. Rather than worrying about labels and what people are likely to say, focus on offering your child a space full of unconditional love.

Ways To Make It Easier For Your Child To Come Out To You

Coming out to family can be a daunting experience for any child, and as a parent, you must ensure your child feels safe and supported. While it may be difficult, there are many ways to make the process easier. From letting your child know that you are supportive of them to seeking outside support, you can ensure that your child feels comfortable and confident in sharing their true self. Showing your love and acceptance will help your child feel safe and secure with their identity.

Alicia Trautwein is an Autism advocate, writer, motivational speaker, and dedicated mom of four. Alicia’s desire to advocate for Autism comes from her own autism diagnosis and that of her three children, niece, and brother. Her life’s mission is to educate on autism acceptance and change the world for future generations of autistic individuals.

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