When a couple decides to travel down the road of undertaking a separation or divorce, there is no denying that it can be a bumpy and challenging road emotionally for those who are directly involved. Ideally, the goal is making separation simple for all involved.
These can be difficult to navigate and negotiate, from those such as financial assets to who will be the primary caregiver of any children you have. This can be a big-time, where feelings are laid bare and essential matters, such as assets and guardianship, can be blurred by emotions.
Making Separation Simple
It is wise to take a step back and view the situation from the perspective of all parties, as there will be a significant shift in your life, no matter how long you take to process it.
Therefore, if you want to make the process as easy and calm as you can, here are some of my tips on how you can make the procedures and transition of an annulment a much easier and less tension-filled outcome.
Get an objective perspective
When it comes to the annulment of your marriage, the change in a family dynamic can be a massive shift. Therefore, family mediation during your separation can be a wise choice.
Having a third party handle the proceedings, each party can obtain what they are entitled to as part of the annulment.
While you do these proceedings, it is best to be as civil to your ex-partner as you can, for this can reflect on how the kids can view the process and the changes occurring.
By keeping calm, you can reassure them they are not at fault.
However, don’t use your lawyers as a means to sway in choosing sides for custody. If suitable and available, joint custody is a better arrangement.
Redefine the Relationship
While you go through the divorce method, it is wise that you reclassify how you act towards your ex-partner.
While doing the mediation and negotiation, treat them as you would a business partner. While this may seem difficult or cold, given how much history you may have, it brings the relationship back to what you want and allows you to work together instead of griping over trivial things.
This also highlights an ability to co-exist, showing that they can entrust matters to both of you and that you may negotiate certain things.
This is especially important when you factor in if you are sharing custody and have to co-inhabit within a situation in the future, such as seasonal holidays or birthdays.
There is no refuting that when ending any long-term relationship, one often goes through a fair share of grief and feelings of loss or being lost.
This is a time to reflect and, indeed, mourn. You are going through a significant transition in your life. The best thing is to release this sorrow and frustration.
During the separation procedure, even if a trial separation or one that you didn’t initiate, DON’T use your ex-partner as a support person.
Instead, lean on your good friends and potential relatives that won’t try to ‘fix’ things and allow you to cry.
Communication is key
This does tie in with the earlier point I made about seeing your situation like a business transaction.
You will often handle much of the processes on your behalf through your lawyer, so make sure communications are responded to efficiently and use someone you can trust.
This can then allow you to put things behind you and not have things drawing out for months, or even potentially, years.
Tread lightly with a new love
When a marriage or long-term relationship breaks down, there is no doubt that there is a fair bit of hurt and emotion that is raw and still at the surface of each other’s minds.
Therefore, don’t rush things or make drastic changes. This can include not entering into a new relationship with a new partner too soon.
Doing so, especially when negotiations are still ongoing, could potentially cloud judgment or bring emotions out by the former partner, who may be feeling tossed aside.
This can also factor into parenting decisions and impact how your kids may react and interact with a new person within their lives.
So be direct with potential partners and make sure it is within everyone’s best interests, such as those custody arrangements and social interactions.
Making Separation Simple
Therefore, remember these wise steps when it comes to making your separation low on tears frustration, and one that can go ahead and be handled amicably.
- Make sure that things are kept in good communication; making sure things are handled promptly.
- Try to separate emotions as much as you can, and try not to use your former partner for support.
- Get an objective look at things from a third party, which can help with the details and legalities.
- If dealing with your kids, make sure to consider their best interests.
I wish you the best of luck.