Learning how to Be the Best Parent You Can Be

One the phrases I hear the most often is “I just don’t know how you do it.”  A lot of the people who say this to me, don’t know that I not only have four children, but four children all with diagnosis.  Many of my post, I stray from being overly personal.  At this time in our journey, I feel I need to share the big picture of what our family life is made of.  At the end of this post, I will share with you 15 ways to be the best parent you can be!

When my husband and I wed, we became a blended family. We were both young, but had a child from a previous relationship.  When we first started dating, my daughter was only a few months old and his daughter was four years old.  When we decided to wed, I went from being a new mom of one to a new mom of two.  

We share joint custody of my stepdaughter with her mom, so she was home with us quiet often.  Our wedding was out-of-order from the expected.  The plan was to wait until after I had our daughter together. Instead, we decided we wanted this child to be born into a marriage.  We wed on January 16th with just our daughters and pastor in a very loving, and simple ceremony at our church.  Four days later, we left the Sunday morning service to give birth to our youngest daughter.  

So in less than a week, I became a bride and a new mom of three girls 5 and under!  What a whirlwind!  Soon after our marriage, my husband adopted my daughter.  My relationship with my stepdaughter quickly grew, and she has always been as much my child as my biological children.

Ups & Downs

Since then, we have had our ups and downs.  The first years of our marriage my husband was a police officer, working night shifts.  It was then I began to hear the phrase “I just don’t know how you do it.”  I became a stay at home mom.  It was a large part in the fact that we couldn’t afford daycare for three children.  

Other factors were the custody schedule and making sure everything stayed together.  Those years all seem like a blur.  I learned how to balance three kids at stores, doing outings on a daily basis with them, keeping up with house and home, as well as constantly working to bring in side income.

When my husband decided it was better for our family to not work as an officer anymore, it turned our world upside down.  I went back to work working 50-60 hours a week as a general manager of a restaurant. Where I loved my job, I missed my kids.  I really felt like I missed our on that last year prior to school for our youngest daughter.  

As I learned life outside the home, my husband learned just how much work a stay at home parent has.  During his transitions between careers, he went to school on campus and online as well as raised the kids.  This switch in roles for almost two years really grew our marriage.  We both have such love and appreciation for each other, and the kids continue to see that everyday.

Becoming The Best Parent I Can Be

It is only now that I am starting to feel that I can do all of this.  I have always known that I wanted to be a mom.  Having four kids to love is a blessing.  The reason I have been able to do it all is because I pour my heart and soul into my kids, and pray for God to make up where I fail.  I have learned to laugh and never be too serious.  

The white hairs have poked through quiet a few times now.  They are quickly removed by plucking or dying over them!  Way too young for white hair!  But seriously, the way I balance life is just trying my best and being ok with not completing my to do lists every day.

15 Ways to be the best parent you can be

  1. Accept that you can’t do it all
  2. Give it to God
  3. Slow down
  4. Love more
  5. Complain Less
  6. Guide without Criticism
  7. Accept that you will rarely complete to do lists
  8. Assign a major chore to each family member to lessen your load
  9. Accept that they will not do it anywhere near as good as you do it
  10. Don’t let them see you fixing their chores
  11. Look for reasons NOT to complain
  12. Laugh a lot
  13. Hug a lot
  14. Take a deep Breath
  15. Smile A lot

The reality is, there is no perfect parent.  You will have many, many years with a quiet and clean house  You only have less than two decades to have a loud and messy house.  Enjoy every minute of it, they are only kids once!

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